Monday, February 27, 2017

An Imitation Game

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." Eph 5:1

I am a father now. This happened a little over a year ago when my daughter, Elise arrived in this world. This event (and the days since) certainly changed my life, more than I could expect or prepare for. The days leading up her birth I was acting like I normally do leading into a major life-change (I'm not a big fan of them) - with a low level of anxiety as I frantically tried to learn as much as I could to prepare. But once she arrived, and we got a few days at home under our belts, I was pleasantly surprised with how natural fatherhood came to me. I know, I know - I've got the easy role in this as my wife has juggled work, caring for her and most of the feeding times. But this is still a major life change -- but like most I've feared, it has brought much more good than bad - and wasn't nearly worth the level of worry I had.

For those of you that are parents, and specifically fathers, you know that the second half of the first year is a lot more fun than the first half. The first 6 months you really are just serving your wife as she does the bulk of the care. The child is a "blob of need" as a friend of mine has described infants - and the father can't meet most of those needs. But once you hit 6 months the child is smiling more, responding, babbling back and just generally more interactive as the days go on. Our daughter started clapping around 8 months, and started crawling the next week. All of this activity as I mentioned just equates to more fun for the father. You can contribute and interact more and ultimately start to bond much more with your child.

Lately something Elise has been doing that's been especially enjoyable is imitating me. Whether it's babbling or even saying certain words, flicking her tongue back and forth, moving her hands like me or making spitting noises with her lips after me, she seems to be constantly imitating me. When she does, it brings me a lot of joy just to see her copy me and be so pleased with herself that she is.

As I thought about this imitation game we play, the above verse came to mind where Paul admonishes us to be imitators of God. God as our Father receives this same type of joy in just seeing us seek to be like Him. But until I looked it up a few minutes ago and read the second half of the verse, I didn't realize what a perfect depiction it is of this. Because my daughter knows she is loved by me, and feels safe she wants to please me and be like me; so she imitates me. As we grow deeper in our awareness of God's love and care for us, and we get to know His ways more we seek to please Him by imitating Him. The life and faith lessons in parenthood really are bountiful.

Now, may I live a life before my daughter that is worth imitating!

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Living as a Christian in the age of Trump

Well, here we are. Whether we like it or not, last Friday Donald John Trump was elected as the 45th President of the United States. This despite losing the popular vote, and saying everything and more to reveal his insecurity, lack of character and leadership qualification, or that he has the moral fortitude to bind the wounds of a deeply divided country. I don't think he has taken the high road ever in his life...

I was a #NeverTrump-er ... Can you tell? Why? Beyond him not being conservative, or having no voting record to reveal his true views, or his immoral treatment of women, it mainly came down to character. I love this country too much to see it become the embarrassment of the world, which I was afraid would happen if we handed the keys over to a 70-year-old child like Trump.

But the people have spoken, so now what? How should we now live? Especially as followers of Christ?

First off, we must be conscious of those closest to us.
As I've wrestled with this reality over the last few weeks, I've noticed a concerning trend. Friends and neighbors, even family have seemed distant after I've expressed my concerns about Trump on social media. There seems to be a belief that being anti-Trump means you were pro-Hillary, who was for Planned Parenthood, against religious freedom, and would've put a crazy liberal on the Supreme Court. But objectively I wish we could all agree that Trump wasn't the easiest candidate to get behind, especially for conservative Republicans. I never could stomach it, and I live in a traditionally Red state so didn't felt it mattered as much. So I voted 3rd party. Rather vote for what I want and not get it, than vote for what I didn't want and get it.

But other conservatives who I love and trust were more concerned about the known commodity (or calamity) that is the Clintons and decided to roll the dice with Trump. I need to respect that and be okay with it. After all, he is President so I should wish him well; the alternative is to desire ill for our country.

In this realm of relationships and politics I've been wondering a few things though:
Does getting engrained in politics make me more loving?
Does watching the news make me more loving?
Is winning a political argument on social media a good way to express God's love?

I really don't see how any of this makes me more Christlike. If anything it pushes people away, makes you label them and vice versa so there's no room for conversation. I don't think we should total abdicate any responsibility to be politically involved. We just need to do it in a balanced way and guard it from consuming our conversations and relationships.*

Next is obvious, but as a Christian we should pray for this President and his administration. I am reading Ezra now - and a theme in the first chapter is that God moves in the hearts of leaders and his people to do what He desires. That has given me great hope these last few days as I've heard all the crazy things Trump is saying and doing. I know that God still moves in the hearts of those in power, that "He guides it wherever He pleases" like a stream of water in His hand as Proverbs 21:1 tells us. I am praying to that end for President Trump.

Lastly, we - as Piper wrote - should focus first on God's kingdom, the lost in this country and around the world rather than get discouraged by Trump's dysfunction. We cannot win lost souls if we are distracted by civilian affairs.

So how are you processing all of this? Agree with where I've landed? I'm definitely still processing it all - so am open to your comments to learn more. Leave one here for me.

One last thing. I am really concerned about the misinformation Trump and his team are disseminating. Last weekend KellyAnne Conway uttered the phrase "alternative facts" to explain why Trump believes more people attended his inauguration than numbers and pictures (read: REALITY) show. Leaders seeking to make people question the reality they see is stuff right out of Orwell's 1984. As believers in absolute Truth, we must advocate for the importance of it in all realms - and fight against leaders deceiving the masses. How? May God help us all.

*For many, their political involvement doesn't go beyond voting - and they abdicate their Christian responsibility of daily love and action because they voted for someone who will do it instead. This is another post - but I am not saying we shouldn't be politically involved. I know certain policies have real impact and our Christian beliefs call us to act for justice however we can. I'm merely pointing out that too often our political action is at the expense of relationships.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Life in Moments

The last several months as I've watched my daughter grow and change in her short 10 months of life, I've been reminded of this truth. Life happens in moments - through small, incremental, indecipherable changes. Our fast-paced, always-in-a-hurry, efficiency-as-king world tries to tell us otherwise; but this is, I believe, an eternal truth. Change happens slowly. It's the way the world works.

As I drove to work this fall - perhaps my favorite season in Atlanta - I took special intention to notice a few particular trees along the way. I observed how their leaves changed from day to day, from bright beautiful oranges and yellows one day to drab browns and rusty reds a few days later. Each day I tried to observe how they had changed from the day before. Each day it was slight, but I could definitely tell - and more so than if I had just driven past not taking notice. Change in our lives is often so slight, we miss it unless we stop and observe it.

I've seen this especially this year in watching my daughter grow. As I watch her play now, pulling up some and saying a few words, giggling and pouting when she doesn't get her way - it's hard for me to remember what she looked like just a few short months ago, unable to crawl or sit up. Then I look back at pictures of her and can't believe the change. How did it happen? I see her every day... but I didn't notice all the changes. Her eyelashes getting longer; her hair growing in very thick on the sides after being nearly entirely rubbed off through her sleeping patterns; her growing proficiency with her hands as she plays with toys and books...

Actually I guess I have noticed a lot of the changes... because I've tried to stop and observe.

Our world around us presses in and seeks to deceive us about this truth. "You should be further along"... "Speed up your maturity - you should be leading others by now"... "It shouldn't take this long to get it" These phrases and more echo in our heads, trying to prod us along no matter the realm - career, spiritual walk, our marriage.  But these things take awhile, and the fact that they do - that life is a process - is part of the beauty of it.

I took an intro to screenwriting class this summer through continuing ed at a local university. One thing the professor highlighted was that people watch movies because they like to observe a character undergoing a major transformation, or making a huge decision. Why? Because we long for that immediate change in our own lives. But watching these stories we think it can happen in a quicker way for us - but that's deception. Sure it works in a 1.5 hr long film.* But if we seek that for ourselves we get trapped in the deceit of high expectations - of ourselves, and those around us demanding microwaved change when our Maker is playing the long game.

I feel I've spent a lot of my life resisting this truth and asking why this is the way things are. My pride and desire to be in control want to speed things up so I can get some glory. But resisting this truth is futile. There are plenty of reasons why slow and steady wins this race. It breeds patience in us, causes us to be humble, and makes us generally more pleasant people to be around - unhurried and savoring the rich things life is made of.

This next year I want to embrace this truth more fully - slow down and savor rather than strive for speedy change. Sure daily discipline and slowing down may not be as flashy, but it's the way our Father designed this world. What's that saying... How do you eat an elephant?

*Truth be told, even with characters in movies there are only one or two major changes or decisions- while the rest of the story is made up of small, indecipherable changes as well. The point of a scene is for one or two characters to undergo some slight change.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Writing is a lot like fishing.

Writing is a lot like fishing.
You’re doing something, but it doesn’t always seem worthwhile.
It can feel like you’re just passing the time. It takes a lot of set up, a lot of gear, and a lot of training, but no matter how much you invest there’s no guarantee that you’ll catch anything – no guarantee that you’ll feed your family through your efforts.

Ideas, like fish are illusive.
Who knows where they come from?
Sometimes you get lucky and you haul in a whole boatful. Sometimes you’re teased with a bunch of bites but none take the bait. But when they do bite you must focus and be dedicated to set the hook and reel it in… we’ve all had the experience of The One that Got Away.

Yes, writing like fishing can seem fruitless; either can seem pointless many mornings when you wake up before dawn to get everything ready. But you got to keep casting, keep throwing the line in, keep looking for the hot spot in the water because you’ll never know when the Big One will take a bite. Then all those outings yielding empty nets and lost bait will seem worth it. Both exercises have tremendous payoffs…

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Birthday post

It is today. As a coworker said, it's the beginning of my last year in a desirable demographic, so reap the benefits while I can (we work in advertising). After this year, the random mailers I get will be for back pain pills and other "old people" products (ironically enough I'm dealing with a good bit of back pain today). Anyway, I usually get pretty reflective on my birthday. What am I doing? How am I living my life? Am I achieving my goals? Do I have goals? This birthday I've done that less - partly due to what I wrote about last week, that I need to trust God is not wasting anything in my life. But also partly due to a realization- reminder really - this week. Life is lived in the mundane, ordinary, small moments - not in huge, epic ones. We desire that because in our human nature we are bent towards being the center of our universe, desiring to be important and do big things. These desires for significance and impact are good - but in the fall they were thwarted to skew much smaller, fueling only our pride and building our own kingdom rather than our Father's.

This pride has been evident in my life in my tendency to view it as if it was a movie and I was the main character. I love film and storytelling in general, and as an actor I look for the drama in life, and not always for good.  Part of this is my personality as well being a bit of a romantic.  I remember telling a friend in high school about how I sometimes view life as a film about me, with all friends and family serving as supporting characters in the epic tale that unfolded. Now I was a Christian at the time and I believed God had a role too - but not the main one. He was also serving to achieve my ends and help me fulfill my dreams.  I shared this and saw no issue with viewing life this way. But his response was one I needed to hear. "I think that's a very selfish way to view life." Huh? I hadn't thought of it that way. After all I wanted good things for the supporting characters that played their roles faithfully- and me achieving my desires would do great things for the world around me. As I've grown older and seen more of my pride, his words have rung even truer. How can you love others if they exist to serve your ends? How can you think of others as more significant than yourself if you're playing the leading role? Yes, it's hard to be like Christ - who came to serve rather than be served, and didn't consider equality with God as something to be grasped - when you place yourself and your wants and desires at the center of it all.

I think everyone struggles with this on some level. Maybe you don't view life as a movie about you - but you grapple with getting on the throne of your life, even (or especially) if you're a Christian.  We all still have our flesh that wants to call the shots; but God calls us to die and let His Spirit live through us. But the reason I brought up this propensity for viewing life as a movie about me, is that I am daily on the search for that significant, epic event. The meet-cute. The apple cart turning over. The climactic, romantic scene in the park with the perfectly spoken dialogue and swelling overture in the background. But God doesn't work like that. He moves in mysterious ways - through poopy diapers, or a data entry job; a simple hug and "How was your day" conversation, or emptying the dishwasher for your wife.  He still speaks in a still, small voice and if we're looking for the clashing thunderstrike we may miss it.  No, life isn't a movie - and that's a good thing.

This is true of all relationships. Think about it.  They are forged through time - just normal, seemingly insignificant moments - accumulated over time into memories and deep bonds; not through ginormous events with perfectly timed soundtracks. As a new father I can attest to this. Life with my daughter is lived day by day through mundane actions of serving her. I'm home with her today - my job graciously gives me the day off for my birthday - so I have fed her, changed her diaper, woken her up from her nap, talked to her and entertained her. My most cherished memories in her life so far are not the big first moments (aside from birth, there haven't been many yet) but rather the small, special moments: that smirk she gives me when she wakes up, or sees me for the first time when I come home from work; her little coos before bedtime; our laughter making faces in the mirror at each other before bath time. These are the special moments - and not one of them would make it into a blockbuster script.

So how is this making me less reflective this birthday? I may be tempted to evaluate again based on what I've accomplished and the impact I'm making from my vantage point. But remembering life is lived in the mundane and being faithful in the small things gives me hope and guides me forward. Should I still have big goals and desire significance? Sure - but this is helping me temper my expectations that those big moments will be few and far between. The story God is writing is made up of many still, small moments that are much more significant. I want to do more - but in doing less and simply obeying and being faithful in what He's called me to each day, I'm making an impact and being used for His glory. What's more significant than that?

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Nothing is wasted.

Do I really believe that? My mind and theology may say 'yes' but my actions and thereby my heart say 'no.' Whether it be regretting missed opportunities and years in less-than-fulfilling jobs or getting upset that my time was not useful and I wasn't as productive as I intended, being frustrated with wasted time has bubbled up to the surface a lot for me recently. How do we spend our lives? Through time. And if we don't feel our time is being well spent on a macro level via career, pursuit of dreams et cetera then on the micro level in the day to day when we have to redo work or our time investment isn't appreciated, we'll be frustrated as well. Now, like I said I know on paper God wastes nothing. All things work together for good, every day is written for us before we live them and so on and so forth. But I do not live like I believe that. It appears day in and day out lots of things happen for no purpose and it looks like we're not being refined and it feels like our life's work is unimportant – but therein lies the problem: I'm walking by sight/feeling and not by faith.

I was thinking on this the other day after I got particularly frustrated – angry, really that I didn't feel my time had been well-spent. I had worked several hours on a project, went to re-save it and the program crashed – and I lost all of my work, nearly half a day's worth. I was livid. As I dwelt on it that night I wondered why I had gotten so mad about it. “Scott, you made work and productivity an idol again – that's what went wrong. Time to repent ” I told myself; and yes, that was true. And I thought on the truth that my time is not my own – I was bought with a price. God is directing my days and times as he wished. But the most hopeful thought I had?

God is wasteful.

Now I know that is not a very reformed thought – what with limited atonement and all. But I believe the Holy Spirit whispered this truth to me and it brought me freedom. What do I mean by this? That in His nature being Love He is generous as He lavishly pours His grace and mercy on us to an excessive, abundant degree. As I've stewed on this the last couple of days several bible passages has confirmed this idea that God is wasteful. Like the first chapter of Ephesians – throughout God's glorious grace is lavishing us, raising us from the dead, forgiving and redeeming us. It is active, purposeful, intentional and generous. Then think about Jesus' parable of the prodigal son – God as the Father runs down the road, kills the fatted calf, clothes the son with the finest robe and throws an extravagant party. The Good Samaritan is another example. I just heard an awesome sermon on this – and in it the preacher made the connection that Jesus is the ultimate Good Samaritan – that it's really a story about Him. He takes us in our half-dead state, binds up our wounds, and takes care of us – then effectively writes a “blank check” to the innkeeper to spend whatever necessary to meet our needs.

We could go on for quite a while with other displays of extravagant love in the Bible, some showcasing extravagant love back to God, like with the woman and the alabaster jar. In all of this God is teaching us an important lesson about love. It's costly, sacrificial and if you're measuring it you're doing it wrong. By it's nature of being truly unconditional, it means we cannot think in terms of love being effective or rewarded or even acknowledged. It just must be given. That is at the heart of God's nature as well – because He is love, He gives. And the fact that His love is so extravagant and not tempered when we are painfully aware of how undeserved it truly is – that's what makes it so powerful. Yes, part of our problem is we are often looking at this in human terms; we want to see the ROI on our efforts. When it comes to God's economy we prefer to quote “You reap what you sow” rather than “forgive 77 x 7 times.” 

God's extravagance is purposeful.
But we can take heart that in God's seeming wastefulness, nothing is truly wasted. His love and all actions towards us that come out of it are with intention and serve their purpose. If we're looking at this in human terms you could very well argue that God becoming human was wasteful. Jesus leaving the throne of heaven, becoming a frail, weak and needy baby – born not in glory or with proper recognition but off the beaten path. Then He lives life in obscurity, gains minimal notoriety for his miracles and the ruckus He causes with the religious folks. And then He dies a criminal's death on a cross – what a waste! Yes, we would have written the story differently. But God clearly had a purpose in all of this – allowing what He hates to accomplish what He loves. He spared no expense to show us His love, and this spilling of Jesus' blood was worth it to display His grace to a lost world. The resurrection

So back to my day-to-day. What does my "wasted time" mean in God's economy? For one, I cannot judge what God is up to because it often doesn't make sense in human terms. His ways are not our ways. He truly uses the foolish things to shame the wise. So despite how things look, I must cling to these truths and continue to trust Him. I can also trust that He is not wasting these seemingly futile times as opportunities to build character in me. And the fact that He is wasteful but with purpose can make me a better lover of people - using seemingly futile, wasteful tasks as practice to free me up to be extravagant in my love of others without thought of effectiveness. May I walk by His spirit and strive to love like Him more and more. When I do, nothing I do will be wasted. 

What do you think? Is God wasteful?

Saturday, March 26, 2016

On the Election

Been meaning to write on here recently, but we've been a bit preoccupied. Our daughter arrived the middle of last month and we've been having a good time figuring out how to be parents. It's a fun process.

What's not been a fun process has been watching this current election. Well it was fun, until about a week ago when my candidate Marco Rubio dropped out. I was really excited about his candidacy for several reasons, not least of which was his ability to win in November. But this wasn't his year because it was the year of fear-mongering and personal attacks, as Marco pointed out in his concession speech (in which he quoted the Bible throughout). Yep, you know who I'm talking about: Orangey Entertainer. This billionaire, 1-percenter, reality TV star of a candidate who most of his adult life was a Democrat is now on his way to winning the Republican nomination and perhaps the presidency. It'd be hilarious if it wasn't so downright frightening.

It started out funny to me - the off-the-cuff intro speech full of racial slurs in front of a crowd that was mostly paid extras; the hokey tagline; the pie-in-the-sky not-thought-through "policies." He had to be kidding, right?!  But then the primaries started, he got votes and started hauling in delegates and here we are.

To recap, Orangey is winning the Republican nomination despite the following:

  • His comments about Mexicans, women, American Muslims, John McCain.
  • Not disavowing the KKK's endorsement (that's right-the KKK for crying out loud)
  • His ties to the Clintons
  • He's pro-choice
  • "Two" Corinthians 
  • "Foreign advisors?! I talk to myself because I have a very good brain."
  • His bullying of journalists and anyone who disagrees with him; re: protesters "Punch 'em in the face" (Bill of Rights, anyone?!)
  • Sarah Palin 
  • "We love the poorly educated."
  • He's making a joke of our whole democratic system

Over and over in spite of these "gaffs" --or maybe even because of them - he's proven to be Teflon. His poll numbers and delegate counts only rise.


For a while it truly baffled me- but as I've thought about it and read a lot I'm no longer surprised. Orangey has tapped into the innate human tendency to give our attention to whatever grabs it. And the more shiny the object, the harder it is for us to look away. It doesn't matter if it is worth our attention or not.

I thought enough of America would at least consider what he's saying and how off-base it is. But it seems this urge to watch-- and here it's the most entertaining thing that we give the most attention to-- surpasses even our common sense. Now I'm not discounting the legit concerns people have - they are fed up with do-nothing Washington, scared about terrorism, rattled by the rapid change our country has undergone these past few years. But is handing the keys over to a petty, insecure, and unqualified leader the right way to handle it?!

Now, I'm going to try to stop rambling and make a few key points that I think explain further how we got here:

First, I think Orangey is gaining the most votes because he's Gaining the Most Attention.  Perhaps you--like me-- have thought there were enough sensible voters who would check their fears, consider what's at stake and not vote for him. But psychology says otherwise. The "mere-exposure effect" says that just being exposed to something, or someone, eventually causes us to like them. "A statistical analysis of voting patterns found that a candidate's exposure has a strong effect on the number of votes they receive, distinct from the popularity of the policies." Yep - we're just that dumb! And we all know this exposure of Orangey has not been through advertising, but just news. He is a champ at owning a news cycle, testing the limits of 'any press is good press.'  Our current cocktail of around-the-clock news + social media click bait has proven to be a perfect storm for constant exposure for him. This constant exposure (valuing nearly $2B in free coverage) rarely on substantive issues but instead on some lewd comment he makes - translates to votes. It's science!*

Secondly, Orangey is leading because the News Media is a Business. Several people have made this point, including Trevor Noah in this segment. But I think the Fourth Estate has really failed us here. Yes, he boosts ratings which translates into major ad dollars - but aren't they supposed to help the public vet these candidates, and give us balanced coverage of all of them? Maybe they are having editorial meetings and considering what coverage is best for the public - but at the end of the day they are businesses (and struggling ones at that when it comes to newspapers, magazines and radio stations) so they have to go with what garners clicks and sells papes. They aren't all listener-supported NPR.

Lastly, I think we are here because We have Made Politics Entertainment. First through the news - to fill 24 hours and compete with the other cable networks they have to report the craziest, most outlandish stuff- ie. all of Orangey's speeches live. But then also with recent TV shows, the Presidency and intrigue around it have become the source material for some of our most popular ones: Scandal, House of Cards, and Veep to name a few. The rise of these shows created the moment for Orangey to take the scene, and he's done so well. Plus we are in a time when we can overindulge in our desire to be entertained via binge watching. Is it any wonder that the entire election has become a constant media circus with a former reality TV star at the center? Can we even distinguish between entertainment and reality anymore? We haven't tempered our basest desires, and exercised our better judgment - so here we are.  We deserve him.

So that's my assessment - take it or leave it. Thanks for reading!

*His whole campaign could be a case study in the value of press/PR/media coverage over paid advertising. It has honestly made me question my career in advertising - as the candidates who spend the most on TV ads gain little ground through it and end up dropping out first.