September 11th - thoughts a decade later

...and 10 days later. Better late than never, right? But something I've been meaning to write about the last few weeks is my reflections on this life-changing day. Actually I've been thinking a lot about the last decade; haven't really thought in terms of decades before in my life, but as I'm in my 30th year, and the last decade has flown by so and that's the first time I've experienced that in my life, I'm thinking in these terms now.

A lot has happened since that day...I graduated college, moved to Atlanta, got a job, and another one, and another one. I joined a church, made incredible friends, traveled to China, and London, and Guatemala. I met Rachel, got married to her, journeyed to Mexico for the honeymoon and several other fun weekend trips in the Southeast, too. I was in a band. I portrayed onstage a young Grecian, a Shakespearean king, and a time-traveling scientist. I was addicted to Lost. I've acquired a taste for Thai food, and hummus, and beer. I lost both of my grandmothers, have lived with 14 different roommates and now have a permanent one! I've learned to sell, to buy, and how to keep it all organized in a spreadsheet. I've applied for screenwriting school, gotten rejected twice, and participated in a workshop instead. I now have in-laws.

Hard to summarize a decade of life in one paragraph. Through all of this I know I most certainly have been changed. But as I think on all that's transpired, I wonder: How did I live my last decade differently because of what happened on that day?
What else can I still learn from that day? Or have I forgotten it all?

Right after that day, I remember being in shock; that this had even happened and to America. It was so incredibly awful. I was grappling at the time with the sovereignty of God having first been introduced to some not-so-Baptist concepts my freshman year; so this event, along with the passing of my grandmother just a few days before really had me questioning and wrestling...if God was sovereign, then why did he allow all this? After a semester or two of questions, I came to some precious lessons, that He always wants to make us aware of our dependence on Him, to experience that He's dependable, and this all comes out of His love.

But did I just take those lessons and forget them and go back to life for me? Yes, daily. It's still a struggle for my heart to believe the truth and not use tragedy as an excuse for self-pity. But each year, as this anniversary comes around, I'm reminded again of those lessons and ultimately our need of Him.

This year was somewhat different as it was the 10th anniversary. I watched some specials, listened to those phone call tapes on NY Times' website,, watched some of the original news coverage on youtube. But the most moving thing I did on that day this year was go to church. We had a guest speaker that day, Bryan Chappell, and he spoke on Romans 5 and the purpose of suffering. Of course he wove in references to this historic event on that day and how those family members who suffered who know God can have hope because they peace and access and the love of God in their hearts. But something he didn't say actually stuck with me even more. He emphasized in the gospel the significance of Jesus dying for and rescuing us when we were sinners, still his enemies, adamantly against God. I've heard this many times before, but hearing this on 9/11 the Spirit took my heart further....The equivalent of Jesus rescuing us his enemies would be like us being those hijackers that day, converting those jets into destructive missiles and crashing them into God's city...yet he sought us out and rescued us, and died for us when we were still hellbent on killing him and his people. This gospel thought shook me and shaped the rest of my day. Hopefully it's a truth and lesson I won't soon forget. When we were still hijackers, Christ loved us and died for us.